Remember hearing the Golden Rule when you were a child? Treat others as you would like to be treated? It is a great standard. Well, it has been upgraded to the Platinum Rule.

The Platinum Rule asks that you treat others as they would like to be treated. Wow, what a difference! This tenet fits in beautifully with Imago Relationship Therapy. Imago teaches that each person has his or her unique way of seeing the world. One person cannot claim to know what is true for another until the other person communicates the information.

What does this have to do with gift giving?

Some time ago, I was struck by a magazine article that listed gift ideas for your valentine. How can we choose a gift for someone we know from a list written by someone else? It reminded me of the Golden Rule. We buy gifts that, to us, sound like a great idea. Or we give gifts that we secretly (or not so secretly) would like to receive ourselves. The Platinum Rule is light years ahead and you can apply it to gift giving. Both the Platinum Rule and Imago encourage us to find out first what the other person would like before we buy a gift for them. This also addresses a myth about marriage: if my partner loves me, he/she will know what I like without me having to say it. This is a myth that has been the start of many arguments within relationships. I’ve been there. 

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