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Valentine’s Day: Then and Now
By Kevin George
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Ancient mid-February rituals were far removed from our modern-day celebration of St. Valentine.
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As you know, Valentine’s Day is marked by somewhat eccentric yet heartwarming rituals. These rituals often take the form of heart-shaped chocolates or a bouquet of roses delivered to a partner or spouse along with a note containing pledges of love and fidelity. Celebrations of this day can be as sweet as a first kiss or as tactless as a wildly grinning plastic cupid taped to a storefront window. It is a day that has seen many first dates and, undoubtedly, many last ones. Perhaps above all it is a day that has seen many, many proposals of marriage. But where did this oddly personal not-quite-a-holiday originate? The answer may surprise and change the way you look at this utterly unique and ritualized day.
Valentine’s Day is an eclectic combination of ancient pagan rituals and Christian tradition. It was first officially celebrated in Rome in the waning years of the empire but its roots may pre-date the Romans. An ancient pagan pastoral festival observed in mid February to ward away evil spirits and release fertility was the likely forerunner of a Roman festival called Lupercalia. Over time, Lupercalia would evolve into a celebration of Saint Valentine.
Lupercalia folded elements of the earlier pagan tradition into a celebration of Rome’s mythic founders Romulus and Remus. According to Roman legend, the infant brothers were suckled by a she-wolf near a hillside on which they would one day build Rome. Apparently this wild upbringing made them somewhat aggressive as a disagreement over construction of the city walls led Romulus to kill Remus. Unremorseful, Romulus then named Rome for himself.
Why was it called Lupercalia? The festival name is likely taken from the mythic cave, Lupercale, in which the brothers were nursed. Another source could be the Roman God Lupercus, protector of flocks against wolves. Wolves featured prominently in ancient Roman culture as they roamed the forests surrounding the city and presented a formidable challenge to local shepherds. The root word lupus in both names is Latin for wolf.
During the festival of Lupercalia young men in loin clothes would lead a procession of priests around the ancient boundaries of the city carrying bloody strips of goat hide with which they would gently slap women and crops alike to increase fertility and growth. This macabre parade was followed by lotteries in which maidens names were plucked from massive urns by eager young bachelors. The resulting pairs would become sexual partners for a year.
The festival of Lupercalia was observed for hundreds of years until Christianity took root in Rome. Not surprisingly early Christian leaders found much of the festival’s activities objectionable. The sex lottery and goat-skin whips were gradually phased out as emphasis shifted to the life and legend of Saint Valentine.
Little factual information is known about Valentine except that he was a priest in Rome who died in 270 AD. According to Church tradition, Valentine was executed by Roman Emperor Claudius for defying Claudius’ ban on marriage. Claudius was convinced that single men make better soldiers and so to keep his garrisons stocked with bachelors, he outlawed marriage throughout the empire. Valentine would have none of this and secretly conducted marriages in defiance of the decree. When Claudius learned what Valentine was doing, he imprisoned the defiant priest. While in jail Valentine fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailor. Legend says Valentine’s faith in love was so strong it restored the young woman’s sight. The stubborn Emperor attempted to convert Valentine but the priest’s faith remained strong. Claudius gave him an ultimatum: forsake marriage or die. Valentine chose death. Before he was led away to his fate Valentine wrote a farewell letter to his beloved. He signed the letter “From your Valentine.”
In 498 AD Pope Gelasius I formally declared February 14th St. Valentine’s Day after the martyred romantic. Just in case any lingering pagans didn’t get the message, he set aside the rest of the month to celebrate the Virgin Mary. The lottery continued but the names of saints were now drawn from the urns by both men and woman who were expected in turn to emulate the chosen saint throughout the year. Of course Roman men were less than enthusiastic with the change and used the occasion to secretly pass notes to eligible maidens. These notes often included the name (you guessed it) Valentine.
The first mass produced Valentine’s Day cards were sold in the US in the 1840’s. The US Greeting Card Association estimates that across the globe over one billion Valentines will be sold this year. It appears ancient Roman men were far more romantic than their modern counterparts as 85% of the cards sold today are purchased by women.
So what about the tradition of giving chocolates and flowers? It wasn’t until the mid twentieth century that the practice of giving gifts of flowers and candy was introduced, primarily in the United States. In the sixties, diamond sellers began marketing jewelry as yet another gift idea.
I must admit to some cynicism when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I've always felt that those who benefit most from this pseudo-holiday are those who have found a way to profit from it. Now we here at Imago have nothing against a romantic card or a delicious box of chocolates and we certainly don’t advocate sweeping aside traditions. We believe the most important thing about this day is that it be used to reconnect with one’s partner in a real and fundamental way. Valentine's Day can mark the beginning of a lifelong process that seeks to attain such connection every day.
So while I may be a bit cynical about the commercialism of our modern Valentine’s Day, I welcome the opportunity to use this day to connect with my partner. I hope you will too. Just as St. Valentine gave sight to the jailor’s daughter, we can open our own eyes on our loving relationships and take clear-eyed steps toward a conscious partnership. This is the best gift of all.
Happy Valentines’ Day! Merry Lupercalia!
Kevin George is the contributing editor of Connections and serves as Membership Director for Imago Relationships International.
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