My wife follows my blog, and asked me the other day if I felt we needed relationship help.  “It sure sounds it from the way you write your posts” she said.  “Is everything OK?”

So I’m dedicating this post to my wife Helen.  It is true that in one or two posts I will write something like “You know what it’s like when you just want to crawl away and your partner just won’t let the argument drop.”  So it makes sense that my wife asked “Am I like that?”.  Do we need some couples therapy or relationship advice?

Well if you are following my blog regularly, first of all, thank you.  But secondly let me reveal more about who I am and why I write this.  I was someone who let my first wife run away because I was too proud to seek relationship help, and instead spent the money on a divorce.  So I have plenty of experience of what a relationship can be like.

And to be honest, it was a challenge for me to reach the level of connection I now have my current wife, and you could more times than I like to say find me stomping off down the street to stare dramatically at the New York harbor, while I internally seethed. 

But I’m also quite fortunate.  I was looking for a job and landed up working as the head of Imago Relationships, with plenty of access to amazing couples workshops.  Together my wife and I learned the Imago dialogue, and its made an amazing difference for us.   We learned much more about what each of us needed from the other, and understood why each of our pasts might suddenly make us react in ways that might seem out of proportion.

That kind of relationship help has brought us to a place of deep happiness together, and the connection we have is one of the main things that makes my life such a delight.  So, for those regular readers, when I do get into detailed descriptions of ferocious arguments, its just me enjoying dramatizing my past.