Not Your Relationship of the Weak

Separate and Together

RelationTip

Peace Project Grant Awarded

Watch Harville and Helen
short video of our co-founders describing Imago

Hear Alanis Morissette
when her relationship works, her whole life works

Not Your Relationship of the Weak

Nan & Jeff in their East Village 'hood where they connect with food, fun and a beautiful park.

Nanci and I met at Date Bait, an event held at the 92nd St "Y" in New York City nearly seven years ago. One by one, each 'dater' stood up to introduce themselves. Nan said "I want to meet someone who knows how to have a relationship." This statement, along with "I'm a massage therapist..." stood out among the usual "I like going to the movies" and "romantic walks in Central Park." I thought to myself, "I know how to have a relationship, too. I've been in couple's therapy."

Nan and I decided to contribute our thoughts on Imago in our relationship with separate paragraphs.

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Separate and Together

"Once we accept that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, we can live wonderfully side by side. As long as we succeed in loving the distance between one another, each of us can see the other as whole against the sky."
-Rainer Maria Rilke

In relationship, we are in a continual dance of coming together and coming back to ourselves. The more conscious and fluid we can be with this oscillation, the more we nurture our own wholeness and that of our relationship. Neither tendency is inherently healthy or unhealthy. We naturally need both. Some are more inclined to be joined at the hip, while others need their space. Selves can get lost in relationships especially if they weren't very sturdy or fully formed in the first place.

These tendencies may be a sincere expression of our desires and love, or they may be motivated by fear and discomfort. How conscious are you of maneuvering between yourself and the other? Pay attention to what is motivating your choice to move toward or away from your partner. Is it motivated by love, fear, wisdom or obligation?

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RelationTip

As spring approaches, a time of growth and renewal begins. It is a good time to remember that one of the beautiful things about being in a committed relationship is that our partner holds the Blueprint for our ongoing growth.

Thank your partner today for holding this mirror for you... and p.s the fun thing is that you hold the mirror for your partners' growth. It's mutual!
We grow, like Spring, and love blooms.

by Maureen Brine, Reg.N., ICADC. Imago clinical instructor and workshop presenter in Toronto, Canada.

Peace Project Grant Awarded

Congratulations to the Imago Israeli-Palestinian Peace Project, led by Orli Warhman and Nili Gur. This week, the project received a $10,000 Imago Global Matching Grant to support its work. The grant is made possible through generous support from Helen LaKelly Hunt and Harville Hendrix.

Orli and Nili has made a strong impression at recent Imago conferences by presenting information about the project, which brings together Palestinian and Israeli couples for an Imago workshop. Following the workshop the couples use the Communologue process developed by the Imago Peace Project. The Peace Project plans several more projects of this type, including work with the Rwandan community in New York. The Imago Global Matching Grants are intended to encourage groups to raise matching funds locally for their projects.

We at Imago are excited about the peace that can be brought to the world which this funding can help make possible.

Invite your friends to share their relationship stories with us, and watch for our next Monthly Newsletter.