The Therapist's New Couch is Online

By Tim Atkinson

Let’s face it, actually getting marriage counseling help is tough.  First you have to admit to yourself that you have marriage problems, and that’s a tough one to swallow.  Then you have to talk to your partner, and you know how that goes:

“Let me get this straight,  you think we have marriage problems?” your partner might say “There’s nothing wrong with me!!”

Hardly surprising then that Tara Parker-Pope, writing last month in The New York Times details how several groups are turning to online approaches to end marital strife.  Some approaches are based on the idea of an online survey, which measures your marital health, and points out areas where you might need relationship help.  Other approaches are more like Imago couples therapy, where couples learn to understand and accept each other more fully.

The underlying thought is that although an online method won’t be as powerful, couples might use it earlier than traditional marriage counseling, and so it would be more effective.  I was at my dermatologist the other week, who in two minutes took off a little skin defect with his liquid nitrogen spray.  Left untreated, I might have required a much more severe operation. John Gottman’s research showed that most couples wait several years after problems emerge before seeking out relationship counseling.  And by the time they get into couples therapy it might well be too late.  

If you are like me, my early experience with relationship education was pretty unimpressive.  A few middle aged couples at the local church took us in and looked coyly at each other while they mentioned that “Sometimes it was hard, but its worth it in the end if you just stick with it.”  So I was hardly likely to go looking for more help like that, even as the first arguments flared.  And in the end I didn’t even “stick with it”.  I was fortunate to have the benefit of better help for my second marriage.

So it makes perfect sense that this might become a world where we not only seek out our partners online, but then we go back online to find out how to cope with the problems that inevitably emerge.  For many people who come to Imago, after years of struggle, they are astounded to find a simple and understandable approach that could have saved them years of marriage problems.

If this is the way the world is heading, then it feels good to know that Imago is heading with it, in the right direction.  Just this week we launched an online education program to provide follow-up for couples who had attended our weekend workshop.  And we’re continuing to expand our range of free online marriage counseling , with some state-of-the-art interactive programs.  Be part of the future, and take a look.

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