What's it like to train in Imago?

Imago trainees tell their story.

Dr Ursula Czink, Psychiatrist, Austria

I am a Psychiatrist, and I also practice psychotherapeutic medicine.  My main focus is systemic family therapy. While training as an Imago couples therapist my perspective in regards to working with couples has significantly shifted.

The Imago dialogue structure helps couples to reconnect, because it enables me to avoid the usual avoidances strategies that couples use.  When I use Imago to create an atmosphere of security, couples are able to identify childhood wounds and the defense mechanisms they use to avoid intimacy.

Cognitive understanding and learning negotiation strategies are not enough on their own for healing to occur.   Growth can only be achieved on the basis of loving encounters and that is why I value using Imago to help couples learn to empathize.  I meet a lot of “traumatized” clients during the course of my daily work, and that's why I have wholly integrated the Imago attitude in my personal and professional life.  I believe that only building connection in an environment of loving attentiveness can produce healing.

Dr. Helmut Dalik, Psychotherapist, Austria

I am a psychotherapist and my work is based on my training in existential analysis and logotherapy after Viktor Frankl. I decided to start the basic clinical track after visiting an Imago couples workshop. This workshop convinced me that Harville Hendrix’s world view and his idea of man was also based on the concept of dignified humanity such as is the case with Viktor Frankl.  My first impression was confirmed once I started my training as it was characterized by being highly professional.

The implicit appreciative approach to each other’s partner is being supported practically by clearly structured dialogues. I experience every Imago couples dialogue as an enrichment in my work as a psychotherapist.  It never ceases to amaze me how quickly couples adapt to the Imago dialogue and use it as a simple and effective tool to deepen their mutual understanding. 

Each and every couple can use Imago to learn to better understand themselves and their relationship and their feelings. It feels so good on a human level that it is possible to lift relationships into consciousness and that one can find such a huge developmental potential on this level. The mutual gift of stretching and growing in the interest of one’s partner is selfless and starts working immediately. To me Imago couples therapy is the ideal addition to individual therapies based on existential analysis and logotherapy.

Dr. Sibylle Wirth, Psychotherapist, Austria

I worked as a Gestalt therapist for 15 years and attended a range of further educational courses.  The training to become an Imago couples therapist has not only expanded and deepened my process of self awareness but also my professional understanding and clinical practice. The attitude of mutual appreciation and acceptance that characterizes this method was implemented during every moment of the training. This allowed me to experience a whole new process of learning without fear.

To get to know Imago,  to embrace and to grow with it is a real gift to my life and my work. I particularly like that the theory is very coherent and compatible with the methods I was already using.  I find it very satisfying to be able to lead couples along a journey that provides a safety zone, allowing for the growth of connection as much as differentiation.

Dr. Lucia Monschein-Obweger, CIT, CIRT, M.D., NCC, Doctor and Psychotherapist, Austria

I work as a specialist in internal medicine mainly focusing on cardiology, and I have trained as a psychotherapist.  In addition I have also trained in psychotherapeutic medicine, my therapy school being integrative therapy. It was initially my husband who suggested starting with the Imago training. Since as a couple we have been experiencing difficult times again and again, I agreed, secretly hoping that this training would also help us as a couple to overcome the problems in our relationship. In addition I’m confronted a lot with relationship issues in my daily course of work. Very often I see patients whose “heart is literally torn apart” or their “breath has been taken away”. Sometimes the pressure inside keeps building up and as a result they have to be treated because of high blood pressure.

My training as an Imago therapist has really helped me to get to the root causes that lie at the heart of the conflicts that couples bring to me on a daily basis.  Now I can help my patients not only on a physical level.  By using Imago therapy I can also help them and their partners on their way to a better, more stable, appreciative and lively relationship. Before my Imago training, even though I had trained as a psychotherapist, I often came across couples that showed a lot of active or passive aggressive behavior.  That made it very difficult for me to work with them.  Now, with the clear structure of Imago dialogue it is a lot easier to help couples even through turbulent conflicts.  I am able to show them a better way of resolving conflicts and guiding them towards a more respectful and appreciative way of being together.

Imago couples therapy is a very valuable addition to integrative therapy for individuals. Both schools of thought work really well with each other as both are influenced by the thoughts of the philosopher Martin Buber: humans become human through interacting with fellow human beings. By engaging in relationships we can explore central issues of our life we would otherwise not have come across. This way our partner can help us grow and mature. Imago therapy shows us a wonderful and safe way to do just that.

And by the way, my secret hope has been fulfilled: my husband and I still have conflicts, however these days we see them more as a chance or challenge. They are not as scary and stressful as they used to be, in fact we can talk about them openly now, even humorously. Our relationship has become more lively, more loving, more secure and all in all a lot more colorful.

Mag. Astrid und Dr, Andreas Amann, Psychotherapists, Austria

After spending a very intensive weekend at a couples workshop with Klaus and Evelin Brehm, we decided to start the training to become Imago therapists.  By that time we’ve already done courses in psychodrama, family constellations, trauma therapy, group analysis and group dynamics.  We experienced the Imago training as 16 days of learning without fear, being able to grow through appreciation, getting in touch with oneself, one’s own wealth and beauty but also with our vulnerability and our own limitations.  My biggest gift of growth was learning to see our partner in a new light and understanding that they are my best teacher.  It has been amazing to be part of a training group that is able at each session to create more and more space in order to understand what heals couples.

The training gave me first-hand knowledge of how the structure of an Imago dialogue makes one feel secure, while allowing for a flow that makes reconnection possible.  We are starting to comprehend love and to understand its obstacles.  We are practicing to be appreciative when the hurt child stirs while being sheltered by the group.  We are realizing more and more what a wonderful job it is to accompany couples on their search for their lost love. 

In the same way that it is hard to describe the taste of a fresh apple on a beautiful autumn afternoon, it’s difficult to capture in words the experience of training.  It opens the heart for new ways of growing together as a couple and as psychotherapists and consultants.  Maybe the best way is to quote from a song, “Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier.”